文案与商业写作2013vinaysahni.com
如何写好欢迎邮件
Writing Effective Welcome Emails
导读
这是一篇关于如何写好“欢迎邮件”的实操指南（11条技巧）。作者结合产品注册场景讲如何让第一封邮件既亲切又不越界。值得写作者读，因为它示范了“人设语气”和“信息效率”如何平衡，也暴露了套路化亲切感的反效果。
可以直接用的写作要点
- 01
欢迎邮件的首要任务是兑现用户刚完成的动作，而不是立刻推销或催促互动。
- 02
用真实姓名和口语化语气能拉近距离，但一旦像模板群发就会适得其反，反而更像欺骗。
- 03
把用户取消订阅时的反馈（为什么走）回收进欢迎邮件，提前消除困惑点，是最有效的写作素材来源。
- 04
主题行要克制具体，避免夸张承诺和“让我教你”式的推销腔，否则正文再好也读不到。
HN 评论精选
过度“亲切”的模板邮件比普通垃圾邮件更令人反感，因为它伪装成私人关系。
现在注册任何网站，我都百分百确定从此会被定期骚扰。更糟的是这类精心伪装的邮件：普通垃圾邮件我一秒就能标垃圾，但它用我的名字、语气欢快像老朋友，我不得不多读一句才认出是推销——既费时间又让人更反感。它给我的感觉不是想“建立关系”，而是想骗我打开。我只希望：除非我主动要求，否则别发邮件给我。
dendory查看英文原文
Every web site I sign up to these days, I'm 100% certain that from that point forward I will now be spammed by them on a regular basis. It's a simple fact of the modern web now and I despise it. But when those emails look like this one, I hate them even more. Why? Because a normal form spam mail is easy to recognize. I can hit the spam button in under a second. But when they use my first name, sound all happy and cheery, and talk like they're my best friend, I have to actually read the first sentence to see that it's spam. It not only takes me longer, but it makes them seem even worse. To me an email like that doesn't tell me they are more interested to 'engage', but instead that they want to trick people to read them. You know what I want? For them to never send me any email unless I specifically request it.
把流失原因的调查反馈写进欢迎邮件，用真实数据决定要提前解答什么。
好文。我最近重写了产品的欢迎邮件，重点强化了你说的第9条：提供上手提示。如果你取消页面没有一个大的文本框问用户为什么取消，先停下手里的事花30分钟加上。积累足够数据后，你会知道很多试用用户为什么头几天就走了；把这些反馈直接回收进欢迎邮件（以及应用内引导），尽量提前消除困惑，同时继续强化产品价值。
bdunn查看英文原文
Great post. I recently rewrote Planscope's welcome email (original here: http://copy-cat.co/blog/a-followup-email-that-actually-works/), and this time around really emphasized point #9 of yours: providing onboarding tips. If you don't have a big, fat textarea on your cancellation page that asks people why they're canceling, stop whatever you're doing and spend 30 minutes adding it. Once you have enough cancellation data, you should know why a lot of people who sign up for a trial cancel within the first few days. Recycle that feedback directly into your welcome email (and in-app onboarding), and aim to eliminate as many confusion points as possible while continuing to reinforce your product benefits. For the curious, here's the new email template I'm using: http://glui.me/?i=h5f7alhn92c131t/2013-05-07_at_9.52.24_AM.png/
引用研究要准确：脑区激活不等于“人喜欢听自己的名字”。
文中说“研究表明人喜欢听到自己的名字”，但原研究似乎并非如此：它说的是负责自我表征的脑区在听到自己名字时会激活，与听到别人名字不同，模式类似人对自己做出判断时的反应。当然，“人对自己最感兴趣”这个说法大概不会错，但引用要准确。
6d0debc071查看英文原文
> Studies have shown that people love to hear their name. That's not, it seems at the moment, what that study said. It seems to say that areas of the brain responsible for self-representation seem to activate when people hear their own names: > 3.4. Conclusions > The findings of this simple paradigm are consistent with the findings in the literature. There is unique brain activation specific to one’s own name in relation to the names of others. In addition, the patterns of activation when hearing one’s own name relative to hearing the names of others are similar to the patterns reported when individuals make judgments about themselves and their personal qualities, and include the regions of the medial frontal cortex and superior temporal cortex near the temporo-parietal junction. These results will enable us to study young children and even infants’ responses to their own names in order to see when self representation first occurs. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1647299/ It may, of course, be true that people like to hear their own names. It seems rare for someone to go bankrupt gambling on how interested in themselves people can be. But just the same...
主题行夸张的推销腔会毁掉好正文，克制具体的标题更值得信任。
我很欣赏这封邮件的正文，读起来确实亲切、有吸引力。但我怀疑：如果主题行是“SupportFu 将改变你的人生——让我来教你”，我根本读不到正文。这个主题行充满垃圾邮件味。更好的写法是少一点“让你变大——让我来教你”的腔调，多一点“关于使用我们的工具”或“SupportFu 介绍”。这类主题行也许不够抓眼，但我不至于一眼就把它当垃圾邮件删掉。
nixy查看英文原文
I appreciate the body text of his e-mail, it does feel personal and engaging. However, I wonder if I would have gotten as far as reading the body of an e-mail had it come with the subject line "SupportFu is going to change your life - let me show you how." The subject just reeks of spam. A better way of structuring the subject line to get my attention would be something a bit less "Enlarge your penis - let me show you how"-ish and a bit more along the lines of "On using our tool" or "SupportFu introduction." They might not be as striking as far as subjects go, but I would not be as quick to dismiss them as spam.
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