写作方法2020plainlanguage.gov编辑精选
Mary Dash 的写作建议
Mary Dash's Writing Tips
导读
这是美国政府平实语言网站上的写作建议清单，核心是推广主动语态、避免官腔术语、用日常词和短句。评论区既有具体改稿示范，也有对'禁用被动语态'的反驳，适合写作者对照思考语体选择的分寸。
可以直接用的写作要点
- 01
把被动句改写成主动句前先想清楚：你要强调动作执行者，还是动作承受者，两者语义不同，不能机械替换。
- 02
删掉'additional''purchase'这类拉丁/法语来源的正式词，换成日常说法，能显著降低阅读门槛，让更多人读懂。
- 03
写完一段后自己重写一遍做对比，用可读性工具测算年级水平，把'差不多'的句子压到更低的门槛。
- 04
正式词并非不能用，它们往往有细微的语义差别；关键是别为了显得正式而堆砌，让词藻遮住意思。
HN 评论精选
用自己的文章做改稿示范：同样的意思重写一遍，可读性能提升一个数量级。
评论者认为Mary Dash自己的示范段落写得啰嗦，并把它改写了一遍：'我们大多数商务写作应使用主动语态。读者更喜欢它，也更容易理解信息……不幸的是，大多数政府写作都用被动语态，这让文件显得啰嗦、官僚。我们需要改掉这个习惯。'意思是没变，但可读性大幅提高，所需阅读年级从10年级降到5年级。他还引用调查数据：只有2%的美国成年人读写水平达到11年级以上，48%达到6年级以上，所以改写后能读到的人多了一个数量级。
btilly查看英文原文
Judging by this sample, Mary Dash should be receiving writing tips, not giving them. Do you doubt me? Consider the opening paragraph: Readers prefer active voice sentences, and we should try to use the active voice in most of our business writing to communicate our message most effectively. Active voice clearly identifies the action and who is performing that action. Unfortunately, much of government writing is in the passive voice, giving documents a wordy, bureaucratic tone. Over time, writing in the passive voice simply becomes a habit, one we should all work to change. Here is a quick redraft: We should use the active voice in most of our business writing. Readers prefer it, and will better understand our message. This style clearly identifies what the action is, and who is doing it. Unfortunately most government writing is in the passive voice. This gives documents a wordy, bureaucratic tone. We need to break that habit. The message has not changed, but readability improved a lot. Use https://app.readable.com/text/ to test that. The required reading level went from grade 10 to advanced grade 5, and other measures of readability also improved. This is a big difference. https://www.wyliecomm.com/2019/03/us-literacy-rate/ reports on a broad survey of adult literacy rates. Only 2% of US adults read and write at a grade 11 or better level. By contrast 48% read and write at a grade 6 or better level. My redraft is readable by an order of magnitude more people. What did I change? 1. Break up complex sentences. 2. Shorter is better. This isn't hard. But it really makes a difference.
被动语态传达的语义不同于主动语态，风格规则要分场合，不能一刀切。
我不否认人们常滥用被动语态，但一味禁止被动语态太简单化了。主动句和被动句的意思并不相同，不能盲目互换。比如'She had not been fed by her owner that morning'和'Her owner hadn't fed her that morning'，强调的重点不一样。另外，这类风格指南面向谁？情书、科学论文、给朋友讲故事，语体必然不同，一刀切的规则会毁掉语言中很多美好的东西。
puzzledobserver查看英文原文
I concede that people have a tendency to overuse the passive voice, perhaps to appear less assertive, but... I find this injunction against the passive voice simplistic. The active and passive versions of a sentence _mean_ different things, and one cannot blindly substitute one for the other. Compare: 1. There was a cat in the house. She had not been fed by her owner that morning. She meowed loudly at the passing postman. 2. There was a cat in the house. Her owner hadn't fed her that morning. She meowed loudly at the passing postman. Also, who is the intended audience of style guides such as this? One's style in a romantic letter is necessarily different from the tone used in a scientific paper, both of which are different from how one would tell a story to a friend. Without nuance, a one-size-fits-all approach to linguistic style will destroy much that is beautiful about the world.
所谓'术语'多是拉丁语源的正式词，它们有独立语义价值，不该一概否定。
'避免官腔术语'这条建议有点奇怪，本质上是要采用不那么正式的语体，这没问题，但'additional''purchase'这类词并不算生僻。从例子看，更像是避开源自法语和拉丁语的词，改用日耳曼语源的词：法律等正式语体确实偏好诺曼语源的词，而盎格鲁-撒克逊语源的词更有行动感。'pursuant''concur'之类确实该留给法律文件。对新手写作者，尤其那些从学术或政府写作中学来一身不必要正式感的人，这建议不错。但这些词不是'天书'，它们与'同义词'有细微差别，用得好能增强表达，而不是遮蔽意思。
jfengel查看英文原文
I find the "avoid gobbledygook" instruction a little odd. It's really about adopting a less formal register, which is fine, but words like "additional" and "purchase" aren't really obscure. From the examples, it seems to be more about avoiding French- and Latin-derived words, and using Germanic-derived ones instead. We do tend to use our Norman root words in legal and other formal registers, and Anglo-Saxon roots do have a more active feel to them. And some of the examples are best left to legal documents ("pursuant", "concur"). It's probably decent advice to a novice writer, especially one who has been learning from academic or government writing and picked up an unnecessary sense of formality. But they're hardly "gobbledygook". They're perfectly cromulent words, with shades of meaning different from their "synonyms", and can be used to enhance writing rather than obscure it.
推荐Monzo的语气指南、《经济学人》的清晰文风和奥威尔六规则作为范本。
英国银行Monzo的'tone of voice'页面讲了很多同样的理念。另外，《经济学人》的英文非常好：虽然偶尔用生僻词，但大部分写作非常清晰，句子简洁、用词日常（它常像口语一样用'stuff'这类词）。我不总认同它的立场，但很享受它的文风。奥威尔的六条写作规则也很好。
cranekam查看英文原文
The UK bank Monzo has a great page about tone of voice with many of the same ideas: https://monzo.com/tone-of-voice/ Also, The Economist has really great English. Despite being quite well-known for using very obscure words now and then the bulk of its writing is very clear, with succinct sentences and everyday words (they often use words like "stuff" in exactly the same way as spoken English). I don't always agree with its editorial stance but I find its style very enjoyable. Orwell's Six Rules for Writing are great as well (along with pretty much everything he wrote): https://infusion.media/blog/george-orwells-six-rules-for-writing/
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