讲故事与叙事2022forbes.com
《指环王：力量之戒》的剧本为何糟糕得莫名其妙
‘The Rings of Power’ has inexplicably terrible writing
导读
这篇文章批评《指环王：力量之戒》剧本糟糕：花了天价预算，却大量出现「什么都没发生」的场景。帖子下的讨论从具体场次拆解到选角、节奏和世界观一致性，对写作者来说是一堂关于「场景功能」和「慢节奏不等于空转」的反面案例课。
可以直接用的写作要点
- 01
每一场戏都要能回答「删掉它会损失什么」：结果可预知、只为炫技的场面（如一分半钟的劈石头蒙太奇）应直接砍掉。
- 02
观众已知结果时，戏核应放在结果之后——两人如何从对手变成勉强相称的朋友，而不是把比赛过程再演一遍。
- 03
慢节奏可以，但必须携带信息与情绪：托尔金的慢是忧郁与美感的铺陈，不是无叙事的慢镜头骑马微笑。
- 04
世界观设定要内外一致：精灵若感知、能力、心性都与人无异，种族设定就失效；让「无足轻重的小人物」反复改变历史，也会削弱前作的分量。
- 05
警惕用IP知名度、视觉特效和场景装饰去掩盖一个通用的、毫无个性的情节。
- 06
创作者的判断力比委员会式的谨慎更有价值：把「每十页必须有一场动作戏」当公式，只会写出公式化的剧本。
HN 评论精选
场景要为叙事服务：结果可预知的过程展示等于浪费观众时间，真正该写的是结果之后的人物关系。
让我震惊的是：一部7.5亿美元的剧，居然有那么多「什么也没发生」的场景。最喜欢的例子是埃尔隆德和矮人比劈石头——观众（哪怕没读过托尔金）都知道结果，唯一该拍的是赛后两人如何以「勉强相称的朋友」身份梳理关系，结果我们看了一分半的劈石头蒙太奇，结果还完全在意料之中。第二个例子更蠢：第三集有90秒加拉德瑞尔骑马慢镜头微笑，整段像百思买电视上的HDR演示片。这剧真的很难看下去——不信你自己看第一集，每下意识叹一次气就喝一杯，你以后再也不想看亚马逊原创剧了。
smoldesu查看英文原文
This is something I was blown away by too; for a 750 million dollar show, there sure are a lot of scenes where nothing happens. By far, my favorite example is the scene where Elrond challenges a mountain dwarf to a rock-splitting competition. As viewers (even ones unfamiliar with LOTR), we know the outcome of this contest. The only thing they need to show us are these two characters after the competition, breaking down their relationships as begrudging friends. Instead, we spend more than a minute-and-a-half watching a rock splitting montage. Completely pointless from a storyboarding and writing perspective, especially considering that the outcome doesn't circumvent our expectations. My second favorite example is even dumber; the third episode has another pointless 90-second scene of Galadriel riding a horse and smiling in slow-motion. I'm not joking, the entire scene looks like one of those HDR demo shots you'd see on a TV at Best Buy. The show is genuinely difficult to watch, but don't take my word for it. Watch the first episode for yourself and take a shot every time you audibly sigh, you'll never want to watch an Amazon original again. Edit: links to both scenes below - Elrond & Durin: https://youtu.be/KT6ldSEVHCU - Galadriel Riding: https://youtu.be/4ZqMRAb3zKk
公式化的写作指令（如「每十页一个动作场面」）来自不懂故事的人，创作者的独立判断才是质量分水岭。
问题出在高管和制片人。漫威泄露的邮件里，几个高管互相吹捧彼此的烂点子，说要杀掉角色、重启钢铁侠；凯文·费奇只回了一句「我们不需要重启，这些宇宙里可以有无穷的故事」，一句话就掐掉了这堆垃圾。凯文·史密斯也讲过他写超人剧本时去制片人家读稿，对方吸着可卡因，嚷嚷剧本每十页必须有动作否则观众会无聊，还说反派应该是一只蜘蛛；史密斯提到超人的氪星名字，对方一脸茫然：谁？做决定的就是这种人。多数公司都没有一个凯文·费奇。亚马逊尤其是个过度谨慎、官僚化的庞然大物，整体上并不专业；而HBO敢买下Tim and Eric和A24做的Channel 5纪录片并给完全创作自由——冒险，这就是商人和艺术家的区别。
fullsend查看英文原文
The executives and producers. There’s a fascinating leaked email thread from Marvel where a couple random execs are hyping up each other’s terrible ideas, saying they could kill off characters and reboot Iron Man and other self-indulgent nonsense. Then Kevin Feige, all hail and hallowed be his name, joins the thread with a simple sentence - “We don’t need to reboot, we can make infinite stories in these universes.” With a stroke of the keyboard he stopped that garbage in its tracks. There’s also a great speech by Kevin Smith where he describes being hired to write Superman and he goes to the producer’s house to read the script. The guy is coked out, ranting about how there needs to be action every 10 pages in the script or the audience will get bored. He’s talking about spiders and says the main villain should be one. Then Smith says Superman’s kryptonian name, “Kel’al” or whatever, and the guy is like, who? That’s the people making these calls sometimes. Most companies do not have a Kevin Feige. Amazon especially is going to be an overly cautious and bureaucratic behemoth. Inexperienced as a whole despite whoever they hired. Meanwhile HBO just bought a Channel 5 documentary produced by Tim and Eric and A24 with total creative freedom. Risky. That’s the difference between shills and artists.
慢节奏与「宅味」对白本身不是缺点，前提是它们承载了原著特有的忧郁与美感。
作为《指环王》的老粉丝，我看得很开心，不太理解为什么这么多人讨厌它。这剧讲的是一个已知了几十年的故事，本来就不该每集都有急转弯；乐趣来自制作、对角色的诠释、绝美的背景，这些我都很享受。至少对我来说，托尔金的作品一向节奏较慢，有时近乎冥想式的体验，有悬念和动作，也有独一份的忧郁与美，我觉得这剧把这种特质用得很好。很多人批评的对白其实大体贴合《指环王》（有几处越界），确实宅、有时过于用力——欢迎来到中土，这本来就是魅力的一部分。我不知道大家期待什么，也许是《权游》的复制品，幸好它不是。
magic_hamster查看英文原文
As a lifelong fan of LOTR, I'm having a lot of fun with this show. I don't really see why people dislike it so much. This show tells a story already known for decades. It's not meant to have hairpin twists every episode. The fun comes from the production, the interpretation of the characters, the gorgeous backdrops. All of which I enjoyed tremendously so far. At least for me, Tolkien's work was always a slower pace, at times almost medidative experience. It's got suspense and action, but also a depiction of melancholy and beauty unlike anything else. And I feel the show is using these qualities well. The dialogue, criticized by many, is actually very feasible and for the most part fits LOTR well (except a couple of infractions). Yes it's geeky, and sometimes unnecessarily heavy handed. Welcome to Middle Earth! That's part of the charm, and always has been, especially when something truly beautiful is being said. I really don't know what expectations everyone had for this show, maybe a GOT clone, which thankfully it is not. Personally I feel like it was made for Tolkien fans like myself. I just hope they don't screw it up going forward.
设定一致性就是叙事可信度；一旦把独特种族写成人人，把无足轻重者写成史诗主角，故事的分量立刻被稀释。
有个场景我觉得特别好笑：一个精灵朝村庄走，他知道村庄就在那儿，那是他的目的地，已经走了一整天；然后他翻过山丘，一脸「天啊村子着火了出什么事了？」。对比一下莱戈拉斯：他常常远眺一下，就能报出别人根本看不见的远处一队orc有多少只。这是我对本剧最大的意见之一：我感受不到精灵是另一个物种，有不同的能力和不同的灵魂——尤其第一集开场，一群精灵小孩表现得像刻板的人类恶霸。我也非常讨厌半身人看起来要左右世界大事。原著的震撼之处恰恰在于，霍比特人在那之前完全无足轻重；如果这已经是霍比特人第二次塑造历史，比尔博、弗罗多、山姆、皮平、梅里的故事就被破坏了。感觉这剧靠名字、特效和布景撑场面，情节却是通用的奇幻套路。
plushpuffin查看英文原文
One thing which I thought was hilarious was a scene with an elf walking toward a village. He knows the village is there; it’s his destination. He’s been walking toward it for the better part of a day. Then he crests a hill and is like “oh shit the village is on fire what happened here?” Contrast this with Legolas who would often peer into the distance and then announce how many orcs there were in a raiding party far enough away that the others couldn’t even see them. That’s actually one of my biggest problems with this show. I don’t get the sense that the elves are a different species with different abilities and a different type of soul. Especially in the opening scene of episode one, when you see a bunch of elf children acting like stereotypical human bullies. I also really, really hate that halflings seem like they’re going to play a major role in world events. The shock value to the mythology of LotR was that the hobbits up until that point in history had been completely inconsequential. It kind of ruins the stories of Bilbo, Frodo, Sam, Pippin, and Merry if this is actually the second time that hobbits have shaped history. It just feels like they are relying on the names and visual effects and the set dressing to carry the show, while they cram in a generic fantasy plot.
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